Beyond the Masks: Embracing Authenticity and Self-Acceptance
In a world that often values conformity and perfection, the journey towards authenticity and self-acceptance can feel like a daunting and...
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IT'S TIME TO OVERCOME THE EFFECTS OF NARCISSISTIC PARENTING AND EXPERIENCE PEACE
IS THIS YOU?
I need to learn how to say no. I never say no. I just took a project that I know I don't have time for. So I'll stay late and neglect my family to do it. All because I can't say no.
I’m always in a hurry. I cram way too many things into my day, but to slow down feels even more terrifying
I'm constantly thinking of worst case scenarios so I spend most of my day panicked.
I make ok money - I'm comfortable, but it feels like it could all disappear at any moment.
I wish I could be more patient with my kids but I'm exhausted. I'm not present or focused. And I have a mountain of stuff to do.
Confidence - what's that? I have none. I’m constantly doubting and second guessing myself.
YOU'VE FOLLOWED THE RULES. YOU EARNED THE DEGREES, GOT A GOOD JOB AND HAVE A GREAT FAMILY. YET YOU'RE STILL ANXIOUS AND STRESSED ALL OF THE TIME.
It’s not like you haven’t tried. You’ve tried harder than 99% of the people around you. You showed up. You put in the hours. Working hard is not something you shy away from. So why don't you feel better. If everything seems to be working on the outside, why doesn't it feel like it's working on the inside?
You work hard and you’re an overachiever. Yet somehow you remain unfulfilled, you haven’t been getting the results that you deeply desire... You want to feel better. Make other people’s lives better. And you want to earn more than you are now. You want to grow bigger, grow better.
SO WHY AREN'T YOU?
It could be because you are a survivor of bad parenting, specifically narcissistic parenting. The thing about our childhood is that it keeps affecting us in ways we couldn't imagine and don't expect.
I was taught that working hard and being perfect was the superhighway to success. I thought that because that's how I was raised. One of the survival skills I learned as a child was that I had to be perfect and work harder. No matter what I did, it was never enough. I could always work harder, do better. I carried this faulty belief system for decades. I worked all of the time. I constantly pushed myself for perfection. And it was never enough. I was passed over for promotions and recognition. Clients came and went, but I could never achieve stability. It felt like I was living life on the raggedy edge.
I had no idea why these things were happening to me. I kept trying the same old formula--try harder and be perfect. I didn't realize that I was unconsciously creating the same patterns that I had grown up experiencing. The pattern that said that I would knock myself out trying to please only to be told that it wasn't good enough, that I wasn't good enough.
I was raised by what I believe was a narcissistic father and a co-narcissist and chief enabler mother. I had to be the hero by day to make them look good. Perfect grades. Perfect behavior. But when I came home from school, I was my parents' scapegoat and caretaker. No matter how hard I tried, I couldn't control my parents' emotional state. My father would rage at, scream at and criticize me relentlessly. While my mother napped for most of the day and generally checked out from reality. I left home, went to college and law school, got a great job at a prestigious firm and eventually opened my own firm. I never looked back.
BUT THERE WAS A PROBLEM...
My childhood followed me in ways I couldn't imagine and didn't see coming. I was still that scared, vulnerable child in an adult's body. I would fall apart emotionally every time I made the smallest mistake. I broke out in hives in front of my bosses and clients. I didn't know that I was unconsciously expecting to be raged at and emotionally annihilated whenever I made the smallest error, or for no reason at all.
It turns out that the coping skills that I had developed to survive my childhood were now deeply embedded in my psyche. They had become standard operating procedure and I didn't even realize it. I just thought I was struggling with life skills that everyone else had down pat because I was fundamentally flawed. There had to be something innately wrong with me, right? Otherwise, why would I have a panic attack when the phone rang or wake up in the morning with a ball of dread in the pit of my stomach?
I lived this way for years. Years. Nervous. Afraid. Hyper-vigilant. Stressed. It wasn't until I had kids, had been fired from my career by the economy and was struggling to make ends meet that I realized that perhaps I had better take a look at the my inner emotional state.
I learned that there were root causes to how I was feeling and that these root causes were rooted in childhood. I had been raised to expect people around me to throw tantrums for little to no reason. This belief was a major contributor to my anxiety. Because of the near constant rages, I had learned to shrink and hide to the point of invisibility. Although this kept me marginally safer as a kid, it did not help me succeed at work, where confidence and confidently speaking one's mind was valued.
I call my time researching the “why does my life suck” question my second law school. It had the same intensity and overwhelming amount of knowledge available, except it was longer and harder than the real thing. There was no one around to give me the “A” or the gold star, to tell me that I was on the right track or that I was even headed in the right direction. I was guided solely by my soul. Since I had been unconsciously, yet systematically disconnecting my mind and body from my soul for my whole life, the search was challenging, to say the least. There was a lot of rebooting, rewriting, and reconnecting that had to happen. I used my lawyer brain, research skills, and analytical mind to find what I call “the root of the root of the root” of many of the problems that I was struggling with. The mental and emotional blocks that were so unconscious and ingrained that I didn't call them blocks. I called them “truth,” “reality” or “the way things are.”
I LEARNED A LOT FROM MY SECOND LAW SCHOOL. IT INSPIRED ME TO CREATE PROGRAMS FOR WOMEN THAT WERE STRUGGLING WITH THE SAME SHIT SHOW THAT I HAD EXPERIENCED.
Work With Me
ARE YOU TIRED OF...
Being overlooked⸺for promotions, by the best clients, for the best projects, not noticed for your achievements.
Being the best at working hard, but no one seems to notice unless it’s to give you more work.
Feeling lonely, isolated, and constantly overthinking.
Trying to please everyone all the time and minimizing your own accomplishments.
Feeling like too much and not enough at the same time.
Being hyperaware of other people’s reactions and letting them affect you.
THEN I'VE GOT A PROGRAM (OR TWO) FOR YOU!
02.
SOUL MONEY™
Are you ready to shift out of stuckness and explode into stability, confidence and prosperity? In Soul Money™ I walk you through releasing the really deep coping mechanisms rooted in being the child of a narcissistic parent that are shaping your reality in an unpleasant way. Then we align your soul with your money so that you can create the career and life you actually want.
03.
1:1 COACHING
If you want to build a life that is free from the emotional and mental energy that was dumped on you by your parents, release the coping skills that are creating chaos and align with your soul vision, experience deep peace and fulfillment, one-on-one coaching is for you. Together, we will change how you experience your money, time, and emotions. Are you ready to start showing up in your life?
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OVERWHELMED TO ON FIRE
A persistent feeling of overwhelm is a common symptom of growing up in a toxic home. It stems from being consistently put in situations that you were not emotionally, mentally or physically equipped to handle. All of that fear/confusion/helpless energy gets stuck in your nervous system. As an adult, that overwhelmed feeling keeps running your nervous system like a default operating mode. I know how frustrating it can be to be stuck in these unpleasant feelings and not be able to figure out a way out. You feel like life is taking and taking and taking.
I can help with that.
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